Molotov Cocktail Shortage In France
Socialist protesters in France have a long standing tradition of throwing petrol bombs and burning cars. This practice is so common that French police consider 100 torched cars per day a “normal average.” But, now, this fine French tradition is in danger. Striking workers have shut down all 12 of France’s oil refineries, causing a gasoline shortage.
As street prices rise, rioters are worried that they won’t be able to afford to buy enough petrol. One rioter, his face obscured by a bandanna, commented, “Things are bad out here. These austerity measures are really hurting the middle class. Never before, in my life, have I had to choose between torching a car and throwing a firebomb at police. I simply can’t afford to do both.”
President Nicolas Sarkozy tried to calm fears, announcing that the petrol provision is “under control” and urging restraint in petrol purchases, saying, “The over purchase and stockpiling of petrol is straining our ability to maintain supply at distribution stations.”
Harlem Désir, the Socialist party’s deputy leader, responded skeptically, “He is trying to make us think he is carrying out great reforms to meet our Molotov Cocktail needs, but in fact he is smashing our social model.” An Exxon Mobil spokesman agreed, calling the firebomb situation “critical”, while Leclerc, one of France’s biggest supermarket chains, said their sales of empty bottles and old rags have dropped off significantly.
President Sarkozy disagrees claiming that there is an adequate supply of petrol to meet the needs of every rioter for the foreseeable future.